The time when you are sulking over something and the vent, I think that’s the worst period one can imagine. Its like the constant prick you keep feeling till the doctor actually comes and takes it out. And when you don’t have any doctor to take out that prick it becomes like dent in your soul. Which later on becomes a part of your personality trait. I can atleast remember n number of people who have tried to pull me out of this constant inferiority complex, but I also know double the no of people who constantly as well pull me down even if I want to come out. And those people are those whose opinion is like a line from the bible. Which cannot be amended or questioned. Though I still keep wondering how deep is this sanctum. Whats my outer limit. And how much worse it can get. I have given up on the first item of my things to do wishlist before I die. Because at the end of 30s something you are no more a dreamer and you know your own weaknesses and high points if any. Only that I am loosing the virtue of called forgiveness. Though being the revenge kinds is still a long way to go. Cause it would need a lot of guts. And if I had the guts I wont be here for sure. Cribbing to my blog. I just so hate my existence and the fact that I am so gullible. And now I have equally concerned people around me who are ready to tell this to my offspring how worthless it is. Or how incompetent/shameless/oh I am finding it difficult to express it in words, I can be. Not to forget the worst kinda creation in any mankind. I am not afraid of death now. I know this one would be catered, that too better than me. But even god calls his best pupils and leaves the rest to rot in hell. And no this has got nothing to do with my cancelled date after two months plus or my withdrawal symptoms, it’s the general sense of ecstasy that I feel these days. I am sure regulars ones know how much of a sadist I m who loves her indulgences like self sympathy, self pity, self dissections etc etc. stay happy people, especially those who’ve managed to cut ties with me. And those who cannot I ll try make my existence non-existent.
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