When the timing is bad, expectations are sky soaring and the people are less. Why is that everything is inversely proportionate to bad timing accept hard luck.
This place will never complaint thankfully about how much I crib. With the temperatures on an all time high right now, my patience levels seems to be diminishing too. And I pity those people who are forced to live with me in such torrid times. I should be venting out regularly, in order to keep some smoke out of my system.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Vent...
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Distant Dream...
The most satisfying thing for a parent is to see their daughter happily married and settled with her hubby. And if the hubby takes care of the gal better than her father did, than nothing like it. But that in most cases, this is like a distant dream, something next to impossible. For my parents even the former I think is a distant dream, with my divorce in process. I had difficulty finding a match when I was unmarried, now its like out of question with a baby on board.
I see so many happy couple all around, on fb and all other social networking sites. That it makes me think what did I, not do and what did they do, to have their better half circling around there (middle)little finger. Either they are faking it pretty well, since I believe there are no perfect marriages or they are too smart for their own boots. Come to think of it faking can be a temporary activity, and some of these people, I know them for quite sometime now, so they cant be pretending.
I wont lie, at times it makes me jealous to the core. With my introspection mode on most of the times. And acceptance being my most severe craving in life be it my parents, spouse, friends, and now son. Why is it so hard for me to achieve a tag which says ‘not that bad, after all’. Some big question keeps haunting me day in day out ‘will my parents ever be proud of me?’ will I ever be a good wife/mother/and okay in all other relationships. A very close friend tells me that Aquarians are not cut out for marriage and I have kind of accepted the fact. However, I still cant let go of the acceptance by my blood relations.
Have stopped going to blogs which shout publically about, how proud they are of their son/daughters/spouses/maa etc etc. but cant let go of fb, thanks to my fv addiction which is another forum for public display of affection. Though I still don’t know what more agni pareekhas will I have to go through to pass the okay test for everybody I love and care about so much.
I see so many happy couple all around, on fb and all other social networking sites. That it makes me think what did I, not do and what did they do, to have their better half circling around there (middle)little finger. Either they are faking it pretty well, since I believe there are no perfect marriages or they are too smart for their own boots. Come to think of it faking can be a temporary activity, and some of these people, I know them for quite sometime now, so they cant be pretending.
I wont lie, at times it makes me jealous to the core. With my introspection mode on most of the times. And acceptance being my most severe craving in life be it my parents, spouse, friends, and now son. Why is it so hard for me to achieve a tag which says ‘not that bad, after all’. Some big question keeps haunting me day in day out ‘will my parents ever be proud of me?’ will I ever be a good wife/mother/and okay in all other relationships. A very close friend tells me that Aquarians are not cut out for marriage and I have kind of accepted the fact. However, I still cant let go of the acceptance by my blood relations.
Have stopped going to blogs which shout publically about, how proud they are of their son/daughters/spouses/maa etc etc. but cant let go of fb, thanks to my fv addiction which is another forum for public display of affection. Though I still don’t know what more agni pareekhas will I have to go through to pass the okay test for everybody I love and care about so much.
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