Perfection a myth...

Does getting into a relationship ruin a friendship?
I mean imagine two great friends. They gel like a house on fire. Read each other like a psychiatrist. Connect on a wavelength which no one understands. Behave like an alter ego. Speak through telepathy. Share the same sense of humour. The entire world thinks there is something cooking between the two of them. And they giggle about the same in private. Yet have no vested interests in each other.
They say, sometimes you yourself don’t come to know its love, till someone makes you realise it. And sometimes a lie when said to often becomes the truth. Sounds like a story straight from some typical bollywood movie. But this could be a real life situation.
One would think if they are so good a friend, they would be an ideal couple too when in a relationship. Typically yes, but this is where one goes wrong most of the times. Sometimes best friends turn out to be disastrous when in a relationship. Though most of us disagree on that, for simple reasons like if they are so good with each other and they so understand each other. It would be easier for them to make each other happy. Cause its like pleasing yourself. Remember they are like mirror image of each other.
Sadly this is never the case. Most of the best friends when in a relationship become a very sad couple. Cause A) we tend to expect a lot in a relationship, which is as good as zilch in friendship. Friendship gives a lot of space, freedom, understanding and all that. This somehow is missing in relationship. Most human beings tend to become possessive and jealous. This is normal I personally would not like to see my guy flirting around, however big a flirt I may be. Call it double standards or whatever.
B) in a relationship one tends to loose his/her identity. Most of us do things which please the other person, and act the way he/she wants us to. This is not the case in friends. We don’t think / go / do basis wat are best friends like, right? Then, why otherwise, why does it change as soon as one say those three magical words. Ironic, but true.
Everything about him/her makes you conscious, which was not the case before. You didn’t stress on your dress till sometime before. You didn’t bite your tongue before saying something all this time before. You didn’t waste your weekend thinking over where the relation is going all this time before. And so an so forth.
Whatever said and done, I am still not convinced that everything is so lopsided as a result of such conversion. I am sure there are certain advantages too, which I am suppose to be missing. If you can think of any let me know. Till that time long live friendships.

Change once again....

Finally I know what is it that’s missing in me. Every time a relationship ended I would brood upon what went wrong. Where was I at fault? What do I need to do, to improve so I am not dumped again. And all such kinda of questions, which kept circling my mind till about yesterday. I wouldn’t be able to thank that person enuf, who actually pin pointed the mistake and worded the problem. You know its easier working upon a problem when you know what it is. Otherwise its like shooting in the dark. Everybody knows especially when you introspect, which I do pretty often, that we have hoards of things we could improve upon. Especially when a relationship goes sour you come to critically analyse yourself on ten thousand things. And contemplate that this is where I would have gone wrong, or this is the thing I didn’t do right or may be this is wat he disliked in me and all those hazaar connotations. You live inflicting pain on your self, still don’t come out with a concrete solution till you actually know the actual reason.
So I have enuf reasons to write this post a) cause I wanna thank that person who finally brought an end to my self induced sufferings, and b) I am kinda excited that I will have a definite goal to concentrate on from now on. Now atleast I know, okay this is wat I need to change. Sigh its such a big relief you cant even imagine. I donno if I ll be successful in changing myself. I m sure it wouldn’t be a drastic difference but wat the fuck atleast I can make an effort now since I know.
So is that the word ‘finesse’ which is supposed to be missing in me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t offended when I was told, this is wat u gotto brush up on, supported by hazaar disgusting examples, you know what I mean right. But I hope its all in good faith.
So here is my 3 point agenda/poa towards making an effort for a change:-

1. From now on this would be the only place for an abusive vent, not on the floor, not in public, and not in private as well (sheesh this is gonna be the hardest task considering that I used to take such pride in the fact that I can swear like a man and no less).
2. I am gonna get some kinda silencer or volume modulator fitted in my vocal chords. So what if I have grown up in a family where everybody is high pitched, barring few men (who instead should have been). But its (high) time things improved atleast for the benefit of noise pollution if not anything else.
3. Dressing up doesn’t always mean doling-up wearing oodles of makeup. One can always look good, nice, smart, graceful well-groomed etc etc without getting patched up. And no, nice paintings are not always made on a clean canvass. Sometimes one did need to do some covering up.

Now I hope this works, and I really can do something constructive. Fingers crossed… legs crossed…

I Luv ya awl....

Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai.., Tu Hai To, I' ll Be All Right
Saari Duniya Ek Taraf Hai, Ek Taraf Hai Hum
Har Khushi To Door Bhage, Mil Rahein Hai Gum
But When U Smile For Me, World Seems All Right
Yeh Meri Zindagi, Pal Mein Khil Jaaye,
Jaane Kyun..Tu Hai To, I' ll Be All Right

Chote Chote Kuch Palon Ka, Dostana Yeah
Jaane Kyun Abb Lag Raha Hai, Jaana Maana Yeah
Cos When Smile For Me, World Seems All Right
Yeah Saare Pal Yehi, Yuhi Tham Se Jaaye, Jaane Kyun, Jaane Kyun

Guardian angel. This word had never sounded familiar till sometime back. I think there is someone or the other watching over me all the time. Be it in my personal life or professional life. I just have to trust my instincts and stretch my hand. And mostly its done. I have always ritten crib posts, on this blog. I think this will be my first post where I wanna thank all those ppl who have at one point or the other fitted into my guardian angle’s shoes. I think I am the biggest creep and not literally (though most of you would agree to it). But creep as in a creeper who cant do without someone of the other, you know those small plants which flourish on big strong trees. I must have done something good, that though I have don’t have dearth of ppl who detest me completely but there are also whole lot of ppl who do things for me without letting me know, and never make it obvious. Thank you ppl, I Love you all, (may be I m in a good mood that is why this eccentric post. No harm for a change I guess). When I have to crib and vent I have 1000s of words to rite but when I have to rite something I feel from the bottom of my heart, I just cant find the rite words to explain my feelings. But I hope u guys understand yaar. I am bad with confessions. Bad with words. Bad with coming out of my actual feelings. So bear with me. I still love you all and will always do. I might sulk, not talk to you, act funny. But will never forget whosoever has crossed paths with me at one point of the time or the other. (as if someone is reading this post)Thanks a bunch. I wish I could write the names of those ppl here. But they will sue me defaming them. Be there.

Eve Emancipation

I have butterflies in my stomach. Why is it that the forbidden fruit is always tastier than the one offered to you. Why is that we are always curious to enter the Eden garden just because that territory has ‘trespassers not allowed’ tag on it. I know its wrong but u still love to indulge in it, owing to the temptation and fun involved.

Trusting THE predator...

Can you trust someone who belongs to the casanovian genre ever since you’ve known him. Would you believe even one word of all the sentences uttered, when you know all he’s done his life is mastered the art of pursuing. But its easier said than done. Especially when you kinda reciprocate the behaviour. Flirting as reiterated is just casual flattery without any serious motives/vested interests, and its especially not meant to encourage a promiscuous relationship. Though its easier to fall for someone when he/she is good to you.
But then where do u draw the line. How do u differentiate if at all its serious or just another casual comment. You know at times that person would want to say something out of intention but its taken as a casual remark just cause her/his impression is such. Or out of self defence mechanism and vice versa. In any case it’s a very difficult and dicey situation.
I used to always wonder why do they fall and feel non-sympathetic towards wimmen going after men known for a evil reputation. Its like heading towards danger on intention. Infact most men and wimmen get into this trait after their relationship(s) has been unsuccessful. And I can say this out of experience. Cause I myself don’t trust most of them now. And say things which are not meant most of the times. But as they say for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Now its hard to trust someone who is so much like you. Its like facing the mirror and trying to convince yourself that don’t be so harsh, give yourself another chance. May be its serious this time.

Old Fashioned as I am...

Aajkal hamara waala pyaar nahi hota na. I think I am getting old. The things that shock me or the incidences which take me by surprise are more frequent now then wat it used to be before. When I was in love, which is like once upon a time. We would be like hooked to each other, day in and day out literally, through some form of communication or the other. Mostly twas phones barring all those times we were not in touch physically. You know wat I mean my morning wud start from an sms from him, to an update about each and every passing second and ditto for each and every hour of the day. The only time we didn’t talk or keep in touch in some form of the other was when he or me was sleeping. And we loved every minute of it. Today if I were to ask a couple they would consider it intrusion. Lack of personal space and all that.
But back in those days, that felt like being in love head over heals. It was as if we couldn’t literally live without each other. My last message of the night would also be his and vice versa. Come to think of it now, its kinda funny. Where did all those conversations come from. How come we dint get bored of each other, which is so common now. How come we never wanted anybody excluding each other, which is so abnormal now. Just the two of us were sufficient to enjoy a coffee for over an hour, yap non stop looking at each other, even though no touch was involved and no vested interests. Nothing matter just nothing. I remember having severe cold, and still enjoying a motorcycle ride, without worrying about the chill or the pollution or somebody watching us.
But now things are different. The kids these days don’t fall in love the way we used to. Most gals are only looking for good looking, handsome rich guys who would shower abundance of wealth on them, and accept them with their hazaar flaws. And guys, wat do I say about them, they do everything barring standing upside down for a few minutes of fun. To top it all you are suppose to give each other space, and not keep a track of his every freaking move. Tabhi to you hear so many cases of guys turning out to be crooks and psychos and cheaters, after a few months of affair. I feel the younger generation doesn’t get emotional so easily as well. And its easier for them to hop in and out of a relationship now. Which in a way is good. Not that anybody wants to sulk about a broken relationship. But then most guys are such commitment phobic these days. In our times even though they faked it to get a gal into bed, but it alteast felt good to hear those three magical words while love making. Which is so not the case now, the needs are clear at both ends now. We doing it for plain physical gratification and please don’t misunderstand. I hope we both are on the same page. And its not gender specific, even gals are open about it these days. Does that mean love doesn’t exist now. Or is it too much to ask for. Whatever said and done I still prefer my old fashioned way of loving each other and pataoing gals.

Yearning to Learn...

Things that I should learn:-

1. I need to learn the art of looking busy when I have no work..
2. I need to learn how to keep friendship and emotions separate.
3. Need to learn how to say NO.
4. Need to learn how to communicate things without shouting.
5. Need to learn not to sulk
6. Learn not to indulge in self sympathy.
7. Learn how to be confident and portray it.
8. Learn to make my own decisions.
9. Learn to stand by my own decisions.
10. Learn not to regret.
11. Learn how to get over past relationships
12. Learn how to maintain a decent distance yet be close.
13. Learn how to control my anger.
14. Learn how to look good always.
15. Learn to quit bad habits
16. Learn how to prioritise relationship and work.
17. Learn to be more systematic in life.
18. Learn how to remember things.
19. Learn how to balance work and professional life.
20. Learn how to fall in love and how to come out of it.
21. learn not to crib.
22. learn not to be a doormat and to maintain my identity/dignity when in love.
23. learn not to be too obsessive about things.
24. Learn to respect myself.
25. Learn how to respect people and make them respect me.
26. Learn how to be myself yet make others accept it.
27. Learn how to convey my point with conviction.
28. Learn how to fake it.
29. Learn to get over mood swings
30. learn how to be happy.
31. learn to introspect and not be over critical.
32. learn to make good use of money.
33. learn how to save.
34. learn not to postpone things.
35. learn not to be generous with everyone and anyone.
36. learn not to be adamant.
37. learn how to enjoy life without bad habits
38. learn whom to forget and whom to remember
39. learn how to be confident in my skin.
40. learn to forgive.
41. learn to not compare.
42. learn not to be jealus and insecure.
43. learn to read newspapers regularly, eat nutritious food, avoid junk food.
44. learn to be alone.
45. learn to plan for future.
46. learn to keep secrets
47. learn not to be bitchy.
48. learn to talk less.
49. learn to wait for the right moment and believe in destiny.
50. learn to value things.
51. learn to be patient
52. learn to have faith in god.
53. learn to control my vocal chords.
54. learn not to be lazy.
55. learn to pamper myself
56. learn to rite something regularly over here.
57. learn to write a happy post.
58. learn not to flirt
59. learn not to chat
60. learn to exercise and diet control
61. learn how to be diplomatic
62. learn not to be judgmental abt others.
63. learn to understand that improvement begins with an ‘I’
64. learn to accept different kinds of people.
65. learn to rite a post which is not autobiographical in nature.
66. learn how to make money
67. learn how to not get hurt.
68. learn how to make everyone happy.
69. learn how to learn most of the things on this list.
70. learn to be loyal.
71. learn to have minimum/zero expectations.
72. learn to be independent.
73. learn to take things as they come.
74. learn to not take things personally.
75. learn to be more open in life.
76. learn to move on.
77. learn to keep things less complicated than wat they are.
78. learn to be more flexible.
79. learn not be gullible.
80. learn how to sound more convincing.
81. learn to listen
82. learn to practice what you preach.
83. learn how to meditate.
84. learn how to socialise without making a news.
85. learn how to dance
86. learn how to cook.
87. learn to enrol myself for a social cause.
88. learn to pray everyday.
89. learn to be more open to ideas/criticism.
90. learn to differentiate btw good bad and ugly.
91. learn to do things on time, and not wait till the last minute.
92. learn how to remember things.
93. learn to forget.
94. learn to help others yet keep out of their troubles.
95. learn to get over confiding.
96. learn to be more vocal and demonstrative when required.
97. learn to take, accept and fulfil responsibilities.
98. learn to be more matured and act my age.
99. learn not trust anyone and everyone.
100. learn to say things I mean.
101. Learn to hide my emotions.

And I m still learning…..

Talk abt it...

I was watching a news on tv. Where two gals had killed their parents. This story came about 2-3 days back. And everyday there is a new twist to the story. First day they showed that a gal from meerut with her friend had killed her parents. She said she had killed them cause they used to beat her and her friend, and would differentiate btw her and her brother. This was quite indigestible, considering you wont kill your parents just cause they beat you black and blue, or they were partial towards your brother. That is like so common. I don’t have a brother, but I know parents have different set of rules for guys and gal.
The next day there was a different revelation. The gal confessed that she was raped by her step father and brother for years that’s why she killed them. Infact she had ritten a letter to the wimmen’s cell in august describing her agony. But no action was taken on the same. And when she cudnt take anymore she killed them one day in a fit. Even after the tv was switched off, I cudnt help thinking that incest is so common in our country yet its such a taboo to speak about it. I am sure 7 out of 10 gals have been thru it in some form or the other, but they don’t speak about it for various reasons. And its completely understandable for a gal to do something so heinous as a retort to it. Imagine going through something like that, when you don’t even know the meaning of periods. Imagine experiencing the worst form of secs when your body is not even conditioned for it.
And then you cannot even speak about it, cause everybody would blame you, cause you would be looked down upon as an impure object not worth acceptance, cause the society will consider you as an available commodity after such a secret is revealed and all such nonsense reasons. We all glorify secs so much, without even thinking that one rape can make you averse to the idea of it forever. And proper counselling and guidance can probably make you a better and confident person. Yet there are so many parents, so many gals who keep these things under cover, and keep nourishing it till it becomes a big inferiority complex.
I wish I never have a gal child ever, cause the things they have go thru is not worth the price they pay for being a gal or getting matured. Even if I do, this is one thing, I’d be most sympathetic about god forbid in case. Cause they are not to be blamed, it’s the society which sucks. And if counselled well, from my experience she can come out to be a better person, not committing mistakes normal gals commit like falling for the wrong guys and all that. As they would have known that secs is never a word in isolation, it always has its repercussions good or bad depending upon circumstances.

Ass Usual...

Its sulk time again. And I donno if sulking is the right word. When you goof up big time and you know its because of you that everybody is getting beaten up, how exactly is the feeling. Sulking, guilty, complexed, angry, frustrated, sad, introspecting etc etc. I am feeling a mix of all emotions combined in one. I really donno if I should be angry with myself or take this as a learning opportunity. Ideally one should get up and get a hold of himself/herself to introspect what went wrong and how in future such things should be avoided. Rather than indulging in self pity which most ppl like me do under such kinda circumstances.
I donno even know how to start saying sorry for all those ppl who had to bear the brunt of it cause of me. Infact even though I really don’t want to admit this but a small little word called ‘sorry’ doesn’t come too easily to me. I better die enable to face myself than say sorry especially when I know that such a thing would be repeated time and again. I have to learn this even though I am Adam’s age now. Such behaviour should be totally unacceptable. And what better place to make a confession or admit this, than here. My stupid, little, loyal blog. Who doesn’t counter me, who doesn’t make me feel all the more guilty. Which just listens and listens and listens.
I am not even sure if I’ll do something today to mend my ways. Or if I would go about improving things. Where to start from. Can somebody guide me. I seriously need a shrink cause 30 plus you are not expected to learn how to say sorry, when most of us are so experienced enuf to not make mistakes/blunders in the first place. Load of questions circling my mind. Will he forgive me, will I be able to prove people wrong that no I m not useless. Can I perform, is it worth introspecting. If there is some kinda grooming classes happening anywhere please let me know. Or I will die of guilt and complex. Thank god nobody knows me out here.

Happy Working...

We (read it as me) all are so selfish today. And I have no qualms in accepting or saying that. Friendship the most unselfish relationship as perceived. Has become the most need-based relationship nowadays. When was the last time I called a friend when I didn’t need company for a drink, or wanted to vent or had something important to share. I always look for someone or the other when I am in pits or when I am angry or when I cant go alone somewhere. And that someone could be anyone not necessarily your best friend or your closest friend. There is no priority / loyalty list here, its first come first serve also depending upon his/her mental aptitude suited for the need. Example if I had to go out somewhere at night I cant take a gal or if I had to make a confession it cant be a guy or a gal whom I have already made a confession to say about 2 hours back or something. Remember they say you shouldn’t put all your eggs into one basket.
So when I say I am selfish, I am suppose to gel or get along with people like me who share the same quality right. Cause my friends are expected to understand that the reason I don’t call or page or rite is cause I am moody / my circumstances don’t permit / I am doing fine and don’t have an urge to crib etc etc. After all what are friends for. Some sort of shrinks, trained at you taking them for granted.
However, the big question here is if I am selfish and if my friends are my kind. Then why the hell am I feeling bad for being left alone. Obviously none of them have a need for you right now. No creative writing skills required, no unsolicited suggestion / tips on how to patio a guy etc etc. Everybody is busy and is paid to work, and not socialise with friends. So stop feeling bad about it and justify your job.

Karzzzzzzzzzzz

I must be abnormal not to despise HM who is on such a brave task of re-making karzz. Apparently most of the people on the blogosphere think it’s a sure shot pill for an uninterrupted zzzzzzzzzzzzz in a fully air conditioned ambience with perfectly matched settings to induce the common type of wet dreams. When Farhan Akhtar’s Don came people went berserk mouthing slogans about how big a flop it would be. And that he is foolish to jeopardise his career by making such a movie. No one can come as close as even one arms distance of AB not even SRK. How can someone actually make a remake of such a milestone movie in Indian cinema bla bla. Infact I still have arguments with dude over it, you know the usual SRK Vs AB. Though ‘don’ I think was a very stylish well made movie though it was nothing to beat the original Amitabh’s Don but it did leave its own mark.
But as they say history repeats, I think all those people who are raving and ranting against himess bhai are just too amazed or shocked by his success. I am not for or against him. I am not saying karzzzzzzzz would be a major sleeping pill or a huge hit, but why are people wasting so much time in talking abt it if they already know that its gonna be huge flop. You know frankly speaking I really dont mind the songs of the movie. And I don’t mind giving some credit to that poor guy who made some excellent melodies for movies like ashiq banaya apana, akksar, all those albums etc. Not all of them are so bad. And whatever said and done not everybody can be farhan akhtar jack of all trades and master of all. Its unfair to even compare.
My point only over here is a) one cannot form a perception without watching a movie that’s its gonna be bad. Agreed it cannot compete with the original karz but if it reaches anywhere close to it I think its commendable. B) If everybody has the time and the inclination to mouth so much of bad words abt that guy I am sure he is some worth to provoke that kinda hatred. Even defame gives a lot of name.
Gist of all there is no thumb rule for making a movie. Agreed there have been movies like ‘aag’ but then there also have been avg remakes. If handled well any movie/song can turn out decent.

Thick skinned may be...

What is that makes someone a confident person. What is it that makes someone really comfortable in his/her skin. What is it that gives positive vibes about a person that yes this one sure is satisfied with life and himself. There is no end to wishes and greed, but some of the people/friends I know of, they are at times (read it most of the times) so much at ease with themselves that just nothing bogs them down. And nothing means nothing. Even though if I had to look at them they could just be another ordinary soul on this earth, blessed with qualification one would not even take note of. You know what I mean. Has it got anything to do with your upbringing, nah it would not be fair enuf to blame it on your parents/society/environment etc etc.
I am sure it’s a self specific problem where you just oscillate between lows and highs in life. Which is me most of the times. Sometimes it is aah I am so good looking at this age, I can right exceptionally well, I have better than average sense of humor my organisation jerks have. Oh they don’t deserve to be talking to me and they are so unintelligent so and so forth. But believe it or not cut2 next fraction of a second the world will go upside down for me. And I would be like shit I am in pits. I am sure there is no body as bad as me. That gal is so matured. That friend is earning is so well he/she works so hard. Etc etc again.
I think it’s a genetic default or a malfunction in me. Which I don’t think I have enuf guts to admit in front of anybody save this blog. Where my identity is safe. (Hope so) But I am on a constant trip of introspection/self interrogation/scrutiny/pity. I was reading a blog just now, someone whom I know of for sometime now only thru her writings. And there were only happy posts on it. May be cause she writes for the people/friends/relatives/parents/acquaintances she knows and it is not as anonymous for the guys she writes for. But I just couldn’t figure out how someone could have so many happy moments to share and be so satisfied all the time. After all she is another gal. And then eureka I realised may be because I write it anonymously its more of a cribbing place for me. This way alteast no one can point a finger at me and say oh she is always whining, crying and cribbing. Which obviously I know I am but don’t want to be told again and again.
Another friend, she must be 6 on 10 in looks, 5 on 10 in average intelligence, but 10 on 10 in confidence. How do people manage such things especially when you are in a relationship. Personally there are hazaar things which can run me down if I am head over heals for a guy. Infact I don’t think I need a reason to be insecure most of the times. One word reassurance, a constant dose of the same is a must for me in such situations. I think I justify that word more than anybody I know of.

Am I abnormal/insane.But honestly I am yet to learn this trick.

TGIF....

Friday comes with loads of expectations (mostly unfulfilled). I am still to come out of my virgin days. When though life wasn’t pretty structured but it was amazing fun. Even though it didn’t make many ppl happy but I was happy to the core barring my normal/regular cribs aka when will I get married. Now there is nothing to look forward to when it is a Friday excluding a little later than the usual morning naps followed by a lazy day . I m slowly coming around from the fact that weekend at that time normally meant a Friday begining with daaru and sutta in celebration of the fact that I am still single … ready to mingle followed by a break free late nite with my kinda of people as if there is no tomorrow. To a movie and shopping filled evenings at south ex, gk, khan market and all those neat places over the next two days till you realise oh shit its over. These places look like a long distant dream now. A) cause now there is no money after all those emis/loans etc etc or if there is it is mostly for savings. B)you cant go on those shopping excursions for it is too far and you are too alone. C) and so many other such xyzee reasons (no consequential of course). In any case now it is like Eden garden, hosting ‘entry forbidden’ after all those bomb blasts. But I am not complaining old bad habits must die a slow painful death. And I am coming around in terms to all that, now it doesn’t pain that much. Now its okay to be settled with a movie over the weekend with 12 hours of sleep. Now I don’t feel the need to hang out in my car which was like a basic need for me apart from food, water, air and love aka man. I am still not complaining.

‘chode aaye hum woh galiyaan…. chode aaye hum who galiyaan….’

Let it flow....

I miss that feeling of being in love. When you have butterflies fluttering in your stomach just at the thought of that special someone. When all you do is stare at your phone every five minutes as if some inside voice in your system told… you’ve got mail. The initial period between love and sex. When you’ve just entered into a relationship its like heavenly bliss no matter wat age you are in. I don’t think there is any substitute for your first kiss, first love, first time you held hands etc etc and all those precious first moments. And for every new relationship its again the first thing. As if you have never had that kinda experience before. (its hard to explain that feeling, considering the fact that I myself have, hopped into several relationships in my hay days). Age no bar, no of times in love no bar, your sex life irrespective. A make up after a fierce fight is one thing I wont mind having a fight before.
And we still instead of enjoying those initial moments of unadulterated pleasure, worry sick, thinking about what next. Abey yaar why cant people just let it flow and enjoy it till it lasts. I know its easier said than done, but frankly speaking if somebody was to ask me about my experience I still feel the kinda of things I have done in the past. Something like living on the philosophy of living for the moment and enjoying every bit of it, on a second chance even now I would go by the same. Although everyone says one should always harvest for the rainy days, should watch his/her steps when you are young, play your cards safely and all that. I don’t deny all that, its always better to play safe and guard your actions so you have a promising future. But then wats the harm in living by the moment and enjoying it till it lasts especially when it comes to relationships. Sad part about this is that I wont teach this philosophy to my kids. You must be thinking what a hypocrite. But I m like this take it or leave it. (Fyi no many ppl took it). So just read this post as some kinda scribble from someone totally eccentric but don’t incorporate it…

Huh…..

Its okay for a guy to flirt around with everyone irrespective of age. He is considered to be macho, intelligent, born with a gift of gab etc etc. However when a gal flirts its considered intimidating, promiscuous, and synonymous to an eternal sin. 99% of the cases, when a gal replies to a cheeky comment with an equal and opposite reaction it backfires. You know the age old cliché ‘ladki hansi to fansi’. Why is it so hard for people to understand that u need some brains to reply to cheeky/nasty comment, and that wimmen are blessed with brains at times. And when a verbal tiff is on, not necessarily every word said by the people exchanging the conversation is serious. Infact if we look at the dictionary meaning of the word flirting it’s a playful behavior or a conversation for casual/verbal fun. You know like for some mental stimulation which may or may not be a need for some people. I really don’t understand how do people take it as equivalent to a gal meaning to go that extra mile. Let me say it guys, when I want it or if I want it. If atall I have the guts to walk and talk shoulder to shoulder with guys, be sure I do have the guts to come say it directly when I want it, rather than implying it through my actions and statements.
I know there is a thin line btw flirting and getting serious which most of the partners in crime tend to cross at times. But then, if something is intended out of it wouldn’t it be appropriate that’s its said explicitly, rather than being interpreted and read in between the lines. Most of the guys I know of, who engage in such kinda of behaviour are mostly not serious abt anything and they just do it or say things for mere fun, or may be for some ego boost at times. Then why in the case of a gal its interpreted as a serious offense of intending to eat the forbidden fruit indirectly. The other day I was watching a news channel on tv, and they had this whole story abt gals having no qualms in being and accepting the fact that they are flirtatious at times. Why on earth should we feel guilty abt it, when men are given a hearty laugh for such behaviour, oh he is so funny, his sense of humor is terrific and all that.

Sad really sad....

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Abla naari

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Long time no see

Its been a reallyyyyyyyyyyy long time after which I am riting this post. In fact I have been contemplating on the idea of writing regularly on this page. But all my efforts have gone in vain. I don’t think till the time I get a connection at home I shall be able to rite regularly. Cause almost all my brilliant ideas the most thought provoking ones come at night. That’s the time when I introspect the most. In fact its funny the other day I was thinking that barring nites when my grey cells are working the most. The only other part of the day when I kinda get a recap is when I m bathing. I m sure many ppl would laugh at this idea. But donno why I somehow think a lot while scrubbing my ass off in the washroom. No wonder they say each to his own. In the office even though I don’t have a dearth of ideas and many a times I have even sat down to riting something. Cause I feel like riting as when an idea or a topic pops up but somehow it doesn’t materialize reason being I also like to rite in a flow. And that flow you seldom get in the office.
Like the other day I was thinking on writing about how would I go about convincing my kids that secs before marriage is not a good option. I don’t want to give them that statement without any reasoning like we were told by our mothers during our upbringing. Its not good and good gals don’t do it before marriage. I want to give them a logical reasoning behind it as why they shudnt, and wat are the repercussions of it. However, the big question is wat could be that logical reasoning behind it, especially for gals. Cause there is a lot of emotional investment involved when you get physical with someone, or your reputation is always at stake, or the cons are not worth that 5 mins of pleasure. What could be that reason and how do u forbid someone from doing it when in a relationship. Its not abt control its abt why should you stop. I am still looking for a concrete reason behind it.
Second and the reason why I was tempted to really scribble something today was again I wanted to vent and discuss with probably myself cause nobody would read this blog for sure J. Today I again realized that time is an important ingredient in a relationship. Everything is meant of suppose to be done or acted on its designated time. For eg if I have the urge to vent then it should be done the time when I really wanna do it not say some other day or some other time. That time probably I wont be that desperate or I wont feel so strongly to crib or say something. If I need a hug or a kinda reassurance, I would need it today not sometime after when I m normal. Does that make sense. But I have found my place now which is just the rite thing for me. Whenever I m depressed, lonely, moody, etc etc I know where to come.