Does happy endings only happen in bad books, flop movies and distant dreams. Gals like me who grow up reading mb novels and watching sidey romantic movies, still never give up on the hope that its true for in real life too. My pet line ‘main hoon na’ though nobody is there for me ever whenever I need him/her. Then why do I feel that someday someone would be there for me. Why cant I give up all hopes and accept the fact that no prince charming is going to come in a shining armor on white horse. I got to believe that it only happens in fantasies which never suppose to come true anyway. There is no such thing called soul mate and true love. The worse part is that I am still hanging on.
Thank god again this is an anonymous blog.

Gift of GAB...

“I don’t know how to make friends and if I do, I don’t know how to keep them….If a friend is upset with me it’s 100 per cent my fault but I can’t pick up the phone and say sorry…. I can’t apologise because of ego but because I can’t just get myself to ask people to come back to me…”
I think I have finally found the person whom I can idealize in the Indian context. Irrespective of his hazaar discrepancies, SRK for me is THE man who comes closest to justifying the phrase ‘gift of gab’. These few words mentioned above actually connected deep down me. Something I should have actually known for a very long time, only he put it in so many words now.
I have always believed effective communication is when you can convey your point in as little words as possible. Cause when you speak too much or too long the purpose of the conversation is lost. And for me its very important to hold the attention of the listener and yet have him gasping for more. I remember my English teacher told me that if you want to avoid making grammatical errors in your writing. Then you should avoid making long sentences. And I have followed this like fundamental rule of writing in my life. Which obviously goes for verbal communication too.
Wit, sarcasm, presence of mind, and spontaneity not to forget a good grasp of the language are some of the qualities I value and want to inculcate than any other quality. But sure it’s a long way to go. Plus it sometimes backfires and the only way to practice it, is to be up there higher on the top. :)

Eve of 18/02....

I feel like a rotten kid who is facing community boycott. Never been more depressed on the eve of my birthday than this day. No actually I cant compare cause my birthday always depresses me. And with each passing year there are more reasons to it. It wouldn’t be incorrect to say that I haven’t gone from bad to worse over the years when it comes to curtailing expectations. Only this time I am going to fake it all the more and control my urges to fight with people who wish me. A little pandit told me about sometime back that 33 is going to be a good no for me. If saat khoon were maaf for me then that bugger would definitely figure on that list. Have deleted all the traces of the day, bad luck shown on my parents from fb, still I know that it would be a relay race tomorrow. Thanks to my dear friends (I mean it) who I in my good times have seen the better of me, have started wishing me already. For the fear of world coming to an end tomorrow. A friend of mine or should I say an ex-friend of mine had her status tag that he/she is fluent in languages like sarcasm and profanity. I so wanted to tell him/her honey it backfires majorly at time, but I am sure he/she is sensible enough not to be loud mouth and not to use on anybody or everybody. If revenge was my strong point, I would definitely made some people have the taste of their own medicine. Since even blogging is not helping this time. But I am just another looser who can do nothing but sulk and make my blog cry hoarse. I need a therapist for sure. Who atleast would listen to me.

In the making.....

A girl who could easily make friends till sometime ago is a not so popular one now. Is that what mid life crisis does to you. In addition to loosing all the current contact, at 30s something you find it really hard to socialise with anyone who is but likeminded. Saying ‘sorry’ also doesn’t come easily and even if you capitulate some gutts to say it, its never accepted. and you don’t know whome to blame me myself or irene or the rest of the world or a specific timing and circumstances. I keep saying ‘detachment’ is one art I am slowly and steadily mastering but in reality it is the other way round. With the amount of emotional investment each relationship takes its hard to see youself loosing slowly and steadily on the verge of bankruptcy. Thank you blog that you don’t punish me for putting my big foot in my mouth or not meeting up my commitments.
A friend of mine had been forcing me lately to start writing professionally. Since the timing is so right these days it might just turn out to be a masterpiece for all you know. And I give him/her lame execuse like who is going to publish it. I hadnt understood the meaning of the word ‘recluse’ till I actually started finding solace in being one. If there was a public forum besides my blog which nobody reads (thank god for it) I would have really struggled to say the five letter word called ‘sorry’ to all those I have really made happy in my journey of being one. This post reminds of a saying ‘good riddens to bad rubbish’ which I am sure most people who have been associated with me are echoing now. I hope not. If at all unspoken/spoken words would speak louder than actions. I would not be so much of a looser in life. I wish I could communicate so easily with all those people who matter and who I have lost, including my parents to tell them how much I care and love. Now the one thing which makes the first thing to do in my to do list of things you want to do before you die, is ‘I hope I can make some people proud’……